Wednesday, October 05, 2005

What is it with the girls??

They say no one can understand girls or women. Can’t comment on the women part as of now but it so holds true for the girls.
What a girl wants?? Hardly a male can answer that and why so simply coz they are so unpredictable. At this hour if a girl wants something, by the time you try to get that for her she might not like that.

When Shavak saw Subarna the first time he was head over heels (as he has been for any other beautiful girl like her, the only difference being this time he seemed more serious then ever) in love with her.
Mission patao Subarna began without much ado.
Shavak has been in this school for past 7 years and she has joined recently and as the fate would have liked it she fell into his section which was ‘D’.
One big advantage with Shavak has been his charismatic personality, seldom has he failed in his pursuit to make friends with any one, be it male or female. He was well built, had a cute face (which females mostly fall for) and a constant 1000 watt smile (even at times when he was being punished by the teacher) which could make even the hardest person melt, the only negative aspect of his personality was his height, was the shortest amongst all in the class (but the class unusually had taller boys), he was around 5’7” and nowadays he was donning that French cut beard which on his milk white face looked too good (to others envy).
Subarna couldn’t resist much talking to him due to his continuous persuasion with some stupid but always workable questions such as ‘You new to school?’ ‘ You done that homework ?’ ‘You taken those notes?’ types.
So at last the story started, though I can’t exactly tell when he got serious with her, as in love they say you can never say when the love has really started to bloom.
Classes used to end at 1:30 PM for Shavak and for Subarna around 2:30 PM (as she has taken political science as an additional subject.
Shavak could be seen waiting for her at the school canteen, which was almost deserted after 1. She would come and they would spend another 1-2 hours (depending what reason she was going to put today at home about coming late) talking to each other.
And yea there were days when they could be seen talking to each other for like more than 5 hours (when they both used to bunk their classes).
She used to like the way he used to dress, the way he used to admire her, the way he used to bring gifts for her, the way he used to wait for her.
Initially (as always the case) everything seemed to be like a dream come true for both.
A year passed by and both went into the final year with much the same grades, which was a capital ‘C’ (oh yes girls are not always so bright as everyone think, to put the facts straight Shavak got much better grades then her in subjects like accountancy, economics which mattered most).
This was the interval time in the story and the story was due to take a twist now, as many of you must have guessed by now.
Just after the 11th grade exams and before the 12th grade classes started we got around a month’s holiday and yes we all had prior plans for these upcoming vacations and so did Shavak.
He started taking swimming lessons, he used to come to play cricket with us, he was much into music and in these holidays he wanted to go one grade up in his guitar lessons, wanted to see many of the missed English movies (which came around the exam times), in short he had all the desires which a guy of his age would have and has started acting upon them.
He started with all these activities and no he didn’t forget about Subarna, after she used to come from her music lessons, he used to meet her and they used to talk about their usual stuff. The difference was now he used to keep running for attending the multiple activities he was involved into. So it was time when he used to say Subarna, shall we move? (It was exactly opposite in the school days when Subarna after every 15 minutes would say that she has to go and she has much work left to do, that there is a function she has to attend at her relatives home, etc. etc. and Shavak had to work really hard to make her spend more time with him).
Now there were days when she had to wait for him for 10-15 minutes and it used to appear to her that she has been waiting since ages for him. And boy!! He is not admiring her at all nowadays she used to tell Monica (the only other soul I had seen her talking so much to).
Days went on and the anguish in her really started to grow, they had little rows sometimes but most of them used to get settled when he used to apologies unconditionally.
School started again, and guess what, the guys got really lucky this time with 3 beautiful girls coming into the class (may be girls also got lucky as 2 guys also joined in, but I don’t know for sure about a girl’s liking). This is the time where being a single is so cool, you can look at any girl, can talk to her, can spend sometime (for any reason) and yet have no one to boss you around, I could see that look on Shavak’s face when we all used to discuss about the new girls or used to talk to them, it was the look which used to say, god!! Why am I not single or even better why everybody in the class knows that I am not single?
It’s so hard a feel that you can’t look to other girls can’t talk much with them for the sheer reason what you might have to face if you do that.
The classes went onto become too hot day after day and by the times the winters have started we had really started to feel the heat of 12th board exams. Mostly everybody used to be in school for 10 hours and there were ones who were there at nights also for extra lessons.
It’s just the heat of 12th exams, which even if one doesn’t want to take, gets into him/her. Pressure of parents, teachers, talks of getting good grades for future life, these exams being the foundation for your life. To be very true a student can just go down preparing for it forget about facing the exams. Those beautiful girls were still there but for the guys at this time of school it was like nothing else existed in the world except the studies. Pre-board exams were announced and also with that principal’s decision that anyone failing in the pre-board exams will not be allowed to take the board exams. One can afford to go down fighting in the final game but not being able to qualify for the finals, it was literally a position where most of the dad’s would have killed their sons.
With the heat of exams increasing, the cold started to set in Shavak and Subarna’s relationship.
There are times in a relationship where even if you don’t communicate, even when you don’t meet each other for days, the heat of the relationship, keeps both warm.
But alas this didn’t happened in their case.
It rained heavily the previous night and still in the morning it was drizzling and the temperature was close to 2 degrees, from our school we could see mountains covered with white snow just 26 Kms away. It was a marvelous site, in my entire life I hadn’t been a spectator to such a beautiful sight and the good part was that I had always enjoyed winters.
We got four free periods that day as even the teachers were not prepared to teach in such a cold weather, we went onto the canteen and between the sips of hot tea we were discussing as to which all questions can come in accountancy pre-boards. Subarna walked up to us and asked Shavak if she could talk to him for sometime. To a guy it seems very awkward when he is dragged out of a conversation with his friends by a female. Two of them sniggered, and when Shavak turned to them the same old comment hit him “go man!! Otherwise you will have to spent another hour explaining why you were late in coming”. Without saying a word he moved on with tea in hand.

They both were now sitting in the open playing arena below in the grounds, a bunch of guys were playing basketball, a group of girl was giggling at god knows what on a safe little distance.
“Shavvy we should breakup”, she declared breaking the silence.
And why do you think so Subbi? he asked. What have I did this time? (A guy always starts with a presumption that whatever be the reason he will be held responsible and even if he retorts he will have to apologies in the end).
Why you talking that way Shavvy? I have never said or found you wrong (oh yea??). It’s just that I have started feeling that our relationship doesn’t has much left now and may be you don’t have much interest left in me and you want to move on (hasn’t she said I never found you wrong in the last sentence?).
What exactly happened this time? (For god’s sake tell me without creating an air), he asked in a bit high tone and then lowered it.
It’s not only about this time, it’s been a long time and now I can’t take this anymore (girl for god’s sake get down to the point straight).
Subbi, will you for god sake tell me what happened? Until I know what happened I couldn’t exactly find out a solution to it.
It’s not about a specific problem to which you can find a solution. Then what? (I swear girl I am gonna kill you if this goes on for any longer, TELL ME FAST what’s happened)
Look Shavvy, when I first joined this school around 2 years back you were the first good friend of mine, even Monica became my good friend after you. (So?)
We used to spend so much time together; you used to take so much care of me, for even one day if I didn’t used to come you used to get so bothered. You used to wait for me (So?? Was that a mistake I did then and you gonna make me pay for it today?).
Yes Subbi, so what has happened now?
That’s what I want to ask you Shavvy, what has happened to you now? Why have you become so different, is there some other girl you have started liking? Tell me Shavvy, if it is the case, I will just back off and you can live your life with her. (Oh yea!! Now she is coming to point. As if I will tell her a girl’s name and she is gonna leave me, haa ha)
C’mon Subbi, stop saying all these things, you know that I love you only and there is no other girl. You know that, don’t you? (Wouldn’t you have been spying on me, if you have doubted that?)
Yes Shavvy, I do want to think that there is no one else but then why have you changed so much?
Changed?? How have I changed Subbi? Tell me what has changed in me or what has changed in our relationship?
Previously we used to spend so much time together, you used to care so much about me. But after our 11th grade exams you don’t seem to have much time for me, you don’t meet me so often, you don’t wait for me as you used to do, you don’t talk to me much about your life, don’t even ask me about my life. And for past 2 months, it seems that you have been trying to ignore me. Do you remember when we last talked at length? (Oh yea, didn’t we talk for more than 1 hour just 2 days back?).
Just tell me Shavvy haven’t you changed? (Now, the real thing has started, I should have known this thing was coming).
Subbi…and a long silence fell between them, Shavak’s mind was racing like a F1 car.
He started to think, what Subbi was saying was it really true, has he really changed?
Pictures from the past started pouring in his mind. Yes they have been spending much time together in the first year of Subbi’s coming to the school, how he was waiting for hours just for her at times she used to come too late and used to leave within minutes, he used to feel so bad about it, He wanted her to stay for a bit longer, but he used to become helpless after her statement, “Shavvy, you don’t understand me?” “You don’t understand how difficult it is for me at home to explain every day”. “You don’t understand how much backlog have I got”. And guess what, he had to understand. “I understand” used to be his reply, “We will meet later then”. After she had gone he used to curse himself at times why does he love her? Does she think she is the only one who has got work at home, is she the only one who has got the backlogs, why doesn’t for once at least she understands him?
But after an hour of tussle in his mind he used to satisfy himself that she must be under too much pressure then him. And at least she loves him and some day or the other she will also understand him. These instances used to take a back seat as soon as he has spent some good time with her. He has never complained but has taken things in his stride and yes, had tried to understand her always.
The first time he has got a card and a soft toy as a gift for her he has spent his 3 months savings (which he was saving for his new guitar) and how many times has he taken money from friends for giving her gifts, he didn’t much remember anything exceptional that he got for himself from his pocket money after Subbi coming to his life.
How he has time and again turned down his friend’s requests of coming to movie with them, to come for a match with them, just coz Subbi had given him time to meet. How many times has his friends mocked him for not being with them and for being a couple.
There were friends who have been with him for years some who were there for him since the beginning of his school days. Friends who have been with him in all his pranks, who have helped him out with the studies, friends who have helped him with his house work and friends who in spite of making mockery of his love had always lend him money to buy gifts for Subbi, who had lend him their bike so that he can take her to movie.

Has he really changed? he was still thinking. If he wanted to fulfill his hobbies in that short span of one month which he knew would never come again, had he not completed his next grade in guitar, had he not learnt swimming that time would he have got enough time to do all these things after that (when he already knew there were board exams next year). If he has done all these things and in this process if he has to ask a few times to Subbi that can they leave, in spite of her asking the same thing, has he changed?
If in this crucial year if he is concentrating more on his studies forgetting at times completely about her, has he changed? Is his fear of not getting clear in the board exams, his working hard in studies spending more time with his friends who will help him out more than any one else, are these signs of change?
Hasn’t the situation at his home front changed since last one year? Hasn’t his responsibilities changed? Hasn’t he started spending a bit (though still not enough) more time on work at home? Hasn’t his dad who have never argued about his pocket money has recently started asking him to value money more than he is doing right now?
Hasn’t his mind, which was free of any botherations now more preoccupied with the thoughts of getting into a good college, getting the subjects he wants to take?
The answer was ‘Yes’; yes with a capital ‘Y’ yes he has changed. Shavak has changed, he has changed and not only changed for her but for everyone and more so for himself.
He was clear about his answer, Subbi is right, he has changed and in his own views changed for better, and changed for all not only her.
But the next question was “Now What?”
Why would Subbi not understand him? Why is she saying that he has become same as other guys? And what would being same as other guys mean? Isn’t every guy or for that matter every girl same?
Though Shavak was asking these questions from himself but he already had answers to all of them. He now knew exactly what has gone wrong.
He has changed and so has Subbi but the problem was she has not realized it; she herself wasn’t sure what she wanted from their relationship.
Shavvy knew exactly what needed to be done, he stood up and turned to face Subbi, and did exactly what he had been doing since the beginning or what he knew would calm the situation down, “Subbi, I guess you are right, may be I got too much involved in myself and other things bothering me, so I hadn’t been able to give much time to you, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore or I have started liking anyone else.”
“How could you even think of it that I will love anyone else except my Subbi”
The episode lasted for another half an hour and we all knew the result, yes as always with the girls they do get pleased once you beg them for forgiveness.
Subarna and Shavak were together again.
You might think that why did Shavvy make it up with Subbi even without his fault? Guys, don’t we all do that for someone we really love? Shavvy really loved her.
And yea he didn’t made her understand that just coz he has grown up enough to understand that ‘you can’t make girls understand anything, be it computers or be it cricket:)

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Changing World

I had never thought in my school life that I would end up with computers. Any one asking me that time would have got a reply as to army or scientist. Then weather changed, in my teens I wanted to be an accountant, but yea as fate would have had it, I ended up with computers.
I don't know if I wud have been into something else wud it have been better or worse but yea I try to keep myself happy by constantly reminding myself that I am into the hottest industry.
So you see with time the ideas change, the thoughts change and in short everything changes.
Raghav who always used to say to me when we were in school that he would never marry a girl(though he didn't meant it otherwise too as that time we didn't had today's concepts) and all in all he never used to have a smooth talk with girls, but change set in him and when he was in college he had the max number of girls around him and his views were like, 'no girls, no life' and he was the first one in our group to marry(though his condition today is entirely a different changed story).
One day I was sitting with my cousin, I was going through the magazines and he as usual was channel surfing. His views about girls are those of generation Z. He would keep on telling me how many girls he have been with this week and which one was more pretty and wat should they wear, how should they act , etc. etc . He is FYBCom student, good looking he is and so yes I never doubt things whenever it concerns girls. But yea that day he has been telling me his views about how to treat a girl and what girls are. And on most of the points I didn't agree to him, I tried to retaliate with my points but he won't accept. After a while listening to him I realised that he can't be satisfied with any point right now. He won't accept it now but he will change as I had and as others have. The guy who is sitting here and telling me that love is all sh** is going to come back to me after some time and will be having some good views about love and girls. Then he might start preaching me about love........isn't it?
Another short instance about change, there was this friend of mine I used to hang with. We shared quite sometime together and the reason we used to gell together was that we shared almost same views on everything above the earth and below the sky.
We have shared our views on sports, politics, girls, culture, marriage, and we used to share the same brand of ciggarettes too.
We have bullied many of our friends on the issue of they being changed after a girl has come in. "yaar log kaise badal jaate hai, ladki ke aane se....", "kya bhai ab to doston ke liye time hi nahi hoga...." and the likes of statements used to reverberate in any of the usual gettogether.
They were not only statements but also the feel was the same, no one could understand the reason as to why a person who used to sit with us and share time with us is no more available, why has his priorities changed?
All said and done but everyone used to be friend.
Time changed, places changed and so did everything.
I met with this same friend after many years on one of the weddings I was attending in his city. We were happy to meet again and we started to relive our old moments, the usual reunion types, he tells me that he has got a girlfriend now, ummm.....u not joking?? no seriously yaar... and thats how the news went in ...
The next day I thought I wud stroll with him, talk a lot and do some shopping will go out for lunch and dinner, but he was no where to be seen, called him up and guess wat, yea offcourse he was with his sweetheart, and despite promising to meet in the evening he couldn't turn up. I went out alone, did some shopping, had lunch at a quiet place. The good thing was that I knew the city well and I knew where I can get the things I wanted to shop for, so wasn't much of a problem.
The next day I had to return in the afternoon.
He came at night, was sorry he had to leave as there was something urgent on his GF's side that he had to attend to, "ok lunch we will have together"...he says, "sasha will also join us". I was fine with that. The next day I had to reach station by 1 PM and till 12 PM there was no confirmation about the lunch, I called up and told him I am leaving and I already had lunch as I was getting late, we will have lunch the next time we meet. "No thats fine...I'll catch a taxi.....Bye" abd Ieft.

Sitting in the taxi the things we used to say to others reverberated in my mind......"yaar log kaise badal jaate hai, ladki ke aane se...."
But yea, they say thats wat change is all about.....and change is inevitable and in addition to it no one will ever accept that they have really changed;)